You Rook Mahvelous!

(For those of you too young to understand the Billy Crystal reference in the title, just Google it – it was some seriously funny stuff back in the day)

I’ll preface blog this by stating two very important points:
1 – I am NOT judging anyone here – merely observing. Do not flame, disparage, or otherwise be angry with me. And if you are, then just unfriend me or something – or try decaf – or maybe have a martini first.
2 – I am 110% certain that this is not anything earth-shattering. But the intent of my blog is not scientific discovery, just casual observation, so I’m OK with not receiving any NASA award here.

All that said, here’s the deal. Spending 3 days at a Disney beach-type resort and now on Day 5 of my Disney cruise through the Caribbean, I noticed something that I found fairly interesting. Here is my summary statement:

I am AMAZED at the massive variety of swimwear that people put on for hanging
out at the pool and/or beach. And this applies to ALL shapes, sizes, ages,
cultures, ethnic backgrounds, religions, and other varieties
that I cannot think of right now.

I could end my blog there, but that would be boring. So some color commentary and random observations: (please reference disclaimer #1 above)

  • Ahhhh…the good old bikini. Thankfully, I have not witnessed any guys sporting this. But I have witnessed just about all of the above varieties wearing them. And to be honest, I give them all a lot of credit. I have to think that some people believe that there is no other option than to wear a bikini to the beach – not even up for discussion. Doesn’t matter if they purchased an XS or a 6XL – screw everyone, it’s bikini time. Got to love that confidence that I clearly do not have.
  • Speaking of bikinis, a couple unique ones I saw. One girl had a bikini on, but then was wearing a swim shirt or t-shirt on over it, which went down to her thighs. So what’s the point of the bikini then? The other one was technically a two-piece, but the bottoms were really tall and pulled up to just a couple inches below the top. Is that some sort of starter bikini? Still technically qualifies, but covers up as much as possible?
  • Dads, let those bellies hang out!! This one is near and dear to my heart, but I have to admit that I am somewhat impressed by the big guy that just throws it all out there – big gut and/or hairy back, without any regard to anyone there. Kinda want to just buy that guy a beer. Some guys will wear a swim shirt or something as I like to say, “to avoid frightening the children” – others just hang it all out. Love that!
  • Saw one today that was interesting – it was a partial thong (not the dental floss type), but had some sort of wrap around her as well that covered half her butt. Again, is that some sort of starter thong? Like she hasn’t graduated to the full thong yet. Are there rules there I’m not aware of? Oh yeah, this was at the Disney Cruise kids pool, so I have to deduct at least one point on the grounds of appropriateness.
  • OK – this is an honest and completely NOT racist comment here (reference disclaimer #1 please). On the cruise I couldn’t help but notice a few Muslim women, which is totally cool – but they were full head to toe covered and it was 85F, sunny, and super humid. No joke here, but that seems like flat out torture to me. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I was sweating like crazy in shorts and a casual shirt – put everything they had on me and I’d be dead in like 15 minutes. Can’t they get some sort of heat-related waver? Maybe just do some light head scarf or something and something a bit more “airy” on the rest of them? I’m not suggesting a bikini of course – it’s just the full head to toe covering just seems brutal.

Anyway, you get the point here, and I am 100% certain you could share many of your own observations. So please do – I’d love to hear them. NO pictures please – don’t want to get anyone in trouble.

I guess the bottom line here is that people watching is really pretty interesting at pool, beaches, and cruises. Good times!

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