When Will They Learn!?

Yeah – it’s time for this rant again.  I really can’t help myself – it’s like a drug.  I am NOT and expert, but I see some of these profile pictures on LinkedIn and just want to reach through the screen and slap them upside the head.  Or even waste an InMail on them to reach out to help.  Like pleading with someone not to jump off the bridge.  Life isn’t so bad – you don’t really have to post such a horrible profile picture – it will be OK.  Maybe they just need a hug?

Anyway, here are a few of my favorites from today – had to share.  You know you love it!

  • Filters – OK, I know that your iPhone or favorite photo editing software lets you apply all sorts of fun filters to your image.  But I don’t think that your head as a mosaic really does you any good from an impression perspective.
  • Babies – Look, I love babies as much as the next person, but we aren’t hiring your baby and quite frankly don’t care how cute they are.  It doesn’t help your job prospects at all – unless maybe you are applying for a nursery or daycare facility.  I’m going to guess the odds of that are pretty low – so knock it off.
  • Spouses – see above – we aren’t hiring your spouse or significant other – it’s not a 2-for-1 deal – so leave them out.
  • Tiny heads – It’s really not that hard to chose an appropriately sized picture for Linked In.  So when your picture takes up like 25% of the frame, I’m sorry, but you look like an idiot.  And it appears that you aren’t even willing to take the time to fix it (aka – lazy).  Dial up the effort a bit there OK.
  • BIG heads – same issue with those of you that feel the need to zoom in on your head – to the point that the top and bottom are cut off a bit.  Are you trying to show off your complexion? Or trying to intimidate me somehow?  It’s weird – stop it.
  • 1/2 Heads – this is the old bad crop job.  Apparently you were too lazy to find a picture of just you, so found one where you like the smile or maybe your outfit, but either couldn’t figure out how to, or didn’t take the time to crop out all of your friend that was standing next to you.  It’s creepy – I don’t want to see half of your friends head.
  • Your ID – Someone took a picture of their ID picture on their actual ID, but didn’t even crop that well.  So not only are you too lazy to find or get a good picture of yourself, but your are also too lazy to do a halfway decent crop job on the lame picture you took.  WEAK!!
  • Back of the Head – Seriously!?  WTF is wrong with you?  Is this some sort of art test?  Like a unique perspective?  Are you going to face away from me when I interview you?  Moron.
  • Pets – OMG – stop it.  I’m sure your dog, cat, bunny, parrot, or zebra is really cute – but I just don’t care.  Is your pet more important than your job?  Are you bringing them along on the interview?
  • Headsets – Are you one of those people that walk around with headsets in all day?  Or maybe the person that sleeps with their bluetooth headset in their ear?  Not cool on a profile picture.  You can do better.
  • Party Pics – Yes, we can tell that you are at a party in the picture, and your eyes and smile tell me that you have had a few as well.  I like to get my drink on as much as the next guy, but that’s also not what I project when I first meet someone.  Think about it please.

OK – that’s all for now.  I’m so angry I need to go punch a baby or kick a dog or something.  (I am kidding, please don’t flame me).


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