The New News
A couple years or so ago, I pretty much stopped watching the news. It’s really all the same crap, in my opinion, and 98% of it (not a scientific study there) is negative. Bypassing any of the partisan nonsense, which is also basically pointless, I do NOT believe that the news even remotely accurately reflects what is really going on out there.
Now, before you think I am completely insane, which is entirely possible, let me explain briefly.
Even if my 98% negative number isn’t entirely accurate, I’d still say it’s North of 80%. That said, do you really think that 80% of what happens in our world is negative!? I do not. Yeah, we don’t live in a fairytale land, I get that. But 80% of world events are just not negative. We would have imploded long ago, if that were the case.
So here is the new news format that I would like to suggest, and if I can get Zuckerberg to fund it, I’ll try to pull it off. Here is the schedule for a truly “fair and balanced” news format for the nightly news:
- 10 minutes of the standard, typical, negative, these people were killed or maimed, this war is happening, this person slept with this person, this person lied under oath, blah blah blah.
- 10 minutes of POSITIVE stuff – all the incredible volunteer work happening, somebody made a huge donation to this cause, progress in research for diseases, maybe a positive health or fitness tip – heck, I don’t care if we broadcast 10 minutes of freakin’ yoga! Or 10 minutes of cute puppies for that matter. 🙂
- 5 minutes of sports
- 5 minutes of weather
That’s it. Pretty simple. Balance the crap with the positive stuff, sprinkle into some sports and weather, done deal.
Now, what to call this new news network…
- The Positive New Network (PNN)
- The Happy Channel
- Negative People Suck (that might be too harsh)
- The Smile Network
- Your Happy News at Ten!
Not sure, I’ll think of something.
Oh wait, and this one is important, EVERY news broadcast would start with the words “HAPPY ________” – the blank being the day of the week (eg – Happy Friday, Happy Monday, etc). I borrowed that idea from my buddy Bill – he’ll love it. Maybe we can record a quick video clip of him to kick things off.
OK, now I’m heading down the crazy path…