I Can’t Take It Anymore

Fisheye Woman in Nerd Glasses Taking Self-Portrait on Smart Phon

OK folks – this topic is back – mainly because I can’t take it anymore.  But WTF is wrong with people on LinkedIn!?  Don’t they realize that this is their ONE shot at a first impression and if you are looking for a job, you probably want to show yourself in the best light possible (yes, pun intended).

So on this rant, I’m not going to generalize – I’m just going to go through the offensive pictures that I found today on LinkedIn and make some probably equally offensive comments about them.  But only because they are DESERVED as it’s obvious these people just don’t care enough about their first impression.

So here we go:

  • In the Drivers Seat – What is the point of taking a picture in the drivers seat of a convertible, while you are looking back at the camera – AND it’s black and white and can’t even tell what kind of car it is? What exactly are you trying to portray here?  That you finally got your drivers license!?
  • Graduation – I’m sure you are super proud of your son/daughter for graduating high school or college, but guess what – we don’t care. Nobody is going to hire you because you were smart enough to send your kid to college.  Get over it.
  • In a Drink – Yes, I actually saw a headshot of some VP dude that shows him in what appears to be a rum/coke combination – just my guess. Doesn’t look like your garden variety diet coke.  So I guess we’re supposed to be hiring what would appear to be an up-and-coming alcoholic?  Dork award.
  • Concert – I’m sure you had a super great time at the One Direction or Neil Diamond concert that you went to, but guess what – it’s a really stupid picture to post as your first impression to people. A bad selfie would be better.  Try it.
  • Glamour – Ladies, please. This isn’t Tinder – keep the side boob and glamour shots OUT of LinkedIn.  Or are you angling for some future sexual harassment lawsuit.  This is a professional site – not for hookups.
  • Mini Me – If you are going to have a picture for LinkedIn, at LEAST have it be the right size. The mini headshots are ALMOST as bad as the horrible selfies.  Take the time to size it correctly – it’s not rocket science.
  • At The Gym – This was a picture of an alleged engineer who based on the picture, is likely to be hired as a body builder, NOT an engineer. Nobody on LinkedIn gives a #(&*!!@ how much you can curl.  On the plus side, at least he wasn’t all greased up and in a speedo.
  • The Car Selfie – If you are really too lazy to take a decent selfie (not that a selfie is acceptable, btw), please at least take your seatbelt off in the car. #loser
  • Blurry – Seriously!? Are you blind too!?  Like you couldn’t tell that the horrible picture you posted was really blurry?  Come on people – get a freakin’ clue.  I’d take the car selfie over the blurry picture – at least I know I’m less likely to need braille signage in the office.
  • Babies – Look – I love a cute baby just as much as the next guy, but this isn’t a photo contest. I don’t care if it’s your kid or your niece/nephew – keep it off LinkedIn.  It doesn’t help you in the first impression category.
  • Bar/Party picture – Hey Mr. Engineer – if the first impression you want to give me is that you like to have lots of pretty girls around you, even though they are all looking the other way, guess what? I’m NOT hiring you because you are too lazy to at least take a selfie without your harem in it.
  • Fish shirt – OMFG!? I did actually just see a LinkedIn picture of some “senior” consultant that has large fish all over his “dress” shirt.  Holy crap – why on Earth do you think that makes me want to hire you!?
  • Video grab – This is of an alleged “CEO” of some company – he takes what is obviously a screen capture of some interview he did and uses it for his LinkedIn picture. WTF kind of CEO can’t pony up a hundred bucks for a decent headshot.  I’ll tell you what kind – a LAZY one.
  • QR Code – If your LinkedIn picture is a QR code, just kill yourself now.

OMG – I can’t take anymore.  My blood pressure is too high already.  I hope you enjoyed my rant.  🙂

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