By the power vested in me, by nobody really, I am officially proclaiming that the Wednesday after Thanksgiving shall now be called “Bankruptcy Wednesday”. Not sure if I need to get a certain number of signatures, put it to a referendum, act of Congress, two-thirds majority in the House of Representatives, or whatever – but I’m pretty sure I can get support for this.
What’s the gig with this Bankruptcy Wednesday thing you ask? Good question. Here’s the scoop – this is how the days before my new Bankruptcy Wednesday flow:
Thursday – Thanksgiving Day
Friday – Black Friday
Saturday – Small Business Saturday
Sunday – nothing, yet.
Monday – Cyber Monday
Tuesday – Giving Tuesday
The theme here is obvious to me – to drain as much money as possible out of our bank accounts in less than a week. God made everything in six days – then he got to rest. The only rest we get after six days of spending is at the office of our bankruptcy attorney, or as Chris Farley said, “in a van down by the river”. (Plenty of time for rest there)
Seriously though, those six days seem to be designed to work us all up into some sort of spending frenzy so that if, by the grace of God, we haven’t spent everything by the end of Giving Tuesday, we’re in a pretty solid mindset to drain our accounts and max our credit cards by the end of December.
Think of those six days as the appetizer to the main course – the main course being the holiday season of December, where it seems to be our civil duty to spend as much as possible. The appetizer, as Eric Cartman (from South Park) said, “is what you eat before you eat, to make you more hungry”.
Six Days (starting with Thanksgiving) = Appetizer = Spend a lot
December = Main Course = Spend even more
Maybe we should have “Saving Saturday”, or “Investing Thursday”, or maybe even “401K Sunday”. Ok – that last one was maybe a bit lame – I’ll let that one go.
The point here really gets down what annoys me most about the holiday season – the massive amount of spending that is expected of us during this time. It seems to be more and more about gifts, spending, over-eating and over-consuming. It should be mostly about family and gratitude and helping others.
I have no idea how to reverse this in our crazy consumption-based culture, and I’m certainly not saying that we shouldn’t have Thanksgiving. But maybe we should dial back the gift side of things and see how that goes.If you really feel compelled to spend, make a donation or buy a gift for someone that is truly in need – not someone that just wants another “thing” to add to their collection.
Noodle that one for a little while – I’d love to hear what you think…