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Electronic Communication Quiz

The intent of this scientific quiz, which was developed using millions of dollars of government funding, is to determine how likely you are to be “accidentally” killed by a Millenial in the next year.

What is your preferred method of communication?

  1. Email (100 points)
  2. Text (200 points)
  3. Facebook Messenger (150 points)
  4. Snapchat (500 points)
  5. Instagram (500 points)
  6. Other Social Media (500 points)
  7. Phone (-1,000 points)

What is your average response time to any of the above methods?

  1. 2 seconds (100 points)
  2. 5 minutes (50 points)
  3. 1 hour (5 points)
  4. Anything longer than that (-1,000 points)

(Whatever you answered, I’m calling BS – everyone lies – cut your score in half)

When is the last time you checked your voicemail?

  1. Any time in the past year (-1,000 points)
  2. I never even set it up (0 points)
  3. WTF is voicemail!? (100 points)

How many minutes after you lose your cell signal AND have no Wifi before a full-blown panic attack sets in?

  1. Just asking this question is heresy (250 points)
  2. I can make it an hour (100 points)
  3. 1 day (0 points)
  4. No worries, love the down time (-500 points)

Is your “read receipt” on for text messaging?

  1. Yes, of course (500 points)
  2. No, screw you (0 points)
  3. No, I am one of the jerks that leaves it off so that I can pretend that I never got your message, even though I did and secretly hate you (-1,000 points)

 

The lower your score, the more likely you are to die a violent Millenial-induced death.

Thank you taxpayers for funding this critical research!

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